Feelings- I didn't think this would be so hard

This stinks....

I don't know what to think anymore.... I have sooooooo many mixed feelings! I thought I had a perfect family...... We were so happy, we sang in the car all together at the top of our lungs... we laughed and laughed and talked and laughed some more. One thing led to another..... my mom was crying one day... WORST DAY EVER!! I know a lot of people go through divorce of course.... a lot of people are these days. and I hate it. I wish it NEVER excisted... :( 

My dad....what's wrong with him?? He is or... was my hero my idol... I've always wanted to be juuust like my dad. He's amazing... and loves the gospel with all his heart.... He's funny, sweet, caring, a total dork, and a total idiot in my opinion..... Ha. i'm crying for the first time in weeks..... not expected. (One thing i never do is cry... You are very lucky if you see my crying... I hate crying.. almost as much as Shelby hates the word Moist..and THAT'S a lot of hate... ahaha) My dad told me, i'm doing this for your mom and I.... it's the best thing... You know thats so bull.... If that WERE true... he would NOT be getting married anytime soon....

And I ask myself, why did Satan have to hold onto MY dad? Out of all people?? The strongest in our family?? Before my parents got married, my mom told my dad that she has never read the Book of Mormon before... and she grew up in the church. My dad read it over and over atleast 5 times before he was baptised... funny how the difference was from a nonmember to a member..... My dad was baptized when he was 19..... he was confused about the whole mission thing and didn't have enough money. So my dad didn't go on a mission. No he was Not a returned missionary... but was that his fault? eh yeah a little bit.... but he's still a great guy.....My parents are now getting a stupid divorce.. the worse thing invented and why?? because of sooo many reasons I quite don't understand...and really don't want to! I wasn't ready for this and had no idea it was coming. I thought we were not a perfect but a very happy family....we still had trials but got through them so fastly... 

Not expected but you know, I believe everything is meant for a reason... and if this is something that is supposed to happen then I guess it is... Am I happy about it? CERTAINLY NOT but hey, it's life... we do what we do.... I try to be as happy as I can... if i'm ever not i'm sorry... I do have a few reasons to get up in the morning though.... I'll just keep those personal for now though.. haha I love friends though. :)

 so WHY am i writing this?? To make a solom voe right here, right now...

I, Kelsey Browning, will only marry, 

• A returned missionary
• Someone who will hold the preisthood forever and forever
• someone who cares about there family
• Someone always willing to smile
• Someone who can handle my huge sarcastic mouth
• Someone extremely handsome
• Someone who loves me

Sincerely, ME